Scared !

Scared and scared like hell I am at this moment. I have been watching a lot of interviews and reading a lot of articles to find some motivation and belief that things would be better and that it is not very late yet to fix things. It has become extremely frequent for me to plan and fail to execute the plan and then re-plan. And when that happens I am scared the most. Only if I am able to execute the plan well, I am sure I won’t be scared which ever way the result goes. The only thing I need to do is to stick to the plan, and the rest will follow.

Day before yesterday I brain dumped all my current commitments on a document. If at any time, I am working on any of these things, I am good. If for pretty long time, my actions are not towards accomplishing any of those things, things are definitely bad.

There are a couple of things wrong in my attitude. Of late, I have stopped respecting any commitment (be it personal and professional) and allowing myself to be ridiculed  (by self and by others) for not keeping up with those commitments. My attitude has turned highly casual. I see that I complain about it but really don’t have that zeal to fix it.
I believe I am in deep deep trouble !

Good night !


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